


My Brother's Shadow

by MalChilling



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: BAMF Loki (Marvel), Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Finds a Family, Loki Is Pretty, Loki had kids, Other, Protective Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Well he tries, because I said so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26076661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalChilling/pseuds/MalChilling
Summary: It explained everything. Why Thor was favored. Why his father was the way he was, why his mother was the way she was. Why Loki was the way he was.Loki shook his head, forcing his eyes shut so he wouldn’t cry. Wishing he was anywhere, anywhere but here. He wished to be far, far away. Maybe visit earth, one of his favorite planets that he’s always meant to visit. He was curious about something called coffee.Yes. He wished for coffee, to be with coffee on earth far away from here.A sudden blinding light shook him out of his sad state, only having the time to hear Thor and Odin shout his name with worry before everything went black.OrLoki falls to earth instead of Thor.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 133





	My Brother's Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, uhhhh I don't know where I'm going with this. So if you have suggestions, feel free! Also please let me know if there are other stories like this, I can't possibly be the first, I refuse to believe that. Also if I need to tag something. And spelling mistakes. Or anything.

Loki still remembers their father pitting them against each other for the first time. Those trips to the room with the relics, where he always told the same story. The defeat of his greatest enemy, The Frost Giants, and then the same advice over and over until he could practically put it to song. 

_ A good wise king never seeks war, but is always prepared for it anyway-  _ blah blah blah. 

It got annoying after a while, even for Thor after they reached their adolescence and all the blonde wanted to do was fight and get his hand on food and the other on… conquests. Still, they put up with it, knowing that this little lesson was always followed by a test. 

The last test Odin had bestowed upon them was all about remembering strategy plans from a war that had happened before Odin himself had even been born. So it was easy to say that they needed whatever points they could get. 

At this point, Loki didn’t really care about the throne, he just wanted to win. Prove that he was worthy of his title, and hell- his family. He felt something twist at his heart whenever he saw Odin favor Thor, when he sent him on quests that Loki wasn’t even allowed to know about. When Thor got a seat next to his mother and father during feasts, while Loki was left to sit with the others. It only added to the embarrassment of knowing that the little competition they’d been having since they were children was never a competition at all. 

Rigged, as the humans called it. A rigged game, a product of their father. 

So Loki has known he wasn’t going to win the game since he was young, but the confirmation hurts nonetheless. Their father takes them to see the blue thing again, gives a speech on what it means to be a good king, and how long he’s been considering the both of them, and whatever else he says because Loki can’t really bring himself to pay attention to both the speech, and the hand twisting his heart into his stomach. 

Odin turns to Thor and then suddenly Loki is getting a distracted pat in the back, and a ‘nice try, kid’ from the both of them. Somehow that makes it worse. Loki puts on his smile and turns to Thor, congratulating him and then making his escape after Thor grins at him. 

He lives in controlled apathy for a while after that, spending time with his mother as she picks out decorations and food for the big day. She says how sorry she is, and how their father always does things for a reason and whatever other excuse she’s been throwing at him since their father decided to get involved in his life. He feels resentment buildup the more people bring it up and it frustrates him that he can’t hide in his chambers without people talking about him behind his back. 

He’d already snapped at a poor maid who’d stared too long at him when she passed him in the hall. He thinks he should apologize, but is that a very princely thing to do? Now that he’ll be one for the rest of his days. Well maybe. Really depends on what side of the bed Odin wakes up from in the morning. 

He somehow gets roped into spending time with Thor the day before his coronation. The tall blonde peacocking the whole time as they spend time in his chambers. Thor’s friends don’t pay attention to him, aside from maybe Sif who glances at him every so often with a suspicious look in her eyes. She never trusted him. And she makes sure he knows without actually explicitly saying anything. It's her eyebrows, he thinks. Definitely. 

He drinks from the chalice, red wine staining his lips as he feels himself turn fuzzy and warm the more he drinks. He feels his cheeks flush as he watches Thor boast with his friends about the quest they had just returned from, and he makes sure to show Loki the guts from whatever monster he had slayed that stained his red cape. 

Loki doesn’t think about how maybe it was one of his kids. One of the kids Odin took. 

He’s drunk when he considers his next prank. Drunk and resentful. He knows that his little plan will only annoy and maybe send panic through the kingdom, but at the time, it seemed like a good idea to delay Thor as king for at least a little while. His brother was… good. He was so good, and definitely king material. He probably would've won anyway even if the game hadn't been in his favor. 

But he’s also arrogant. He’s clever, more clever than people think. But he doesn’t really take time to think when everyone has always told him how right he was. 

So yes. Loki does the very stupid thing of sneaking the weakest Frost Giants he could find into the room with stupid blue cube that his father worships so much. As expected, his father senses them the moment they get there and the whole world goes to hell. 

Thor, the arrogant dumbass, decides that he must absolutely fight the frost giants. Loki halfheartedly attempts to stop him, even though he did egg him on a little at first, but ends up following him after his friends somehow get talked into following him. 

He tells the guard to tell Odin they’re gonna do something monumentally stupid and to come and help them. The guard gives him a weird look but takes off running. Heimdall also thinks this is a good idea, and lets them go, albeit after threatening them a little and suddenly Loki regrets not wearing a coat. And he usually likes the cold, so that must really say something. 

He sees the big guy with the beard and red hair shiver and pull close his weapon. Which is funny because Loki likes seeing Thor’s friends suffer a little every once in a while. 

Then the king- he thinks he’s the king, anyway- of the Frost Giants tells them to leave. Thor says no, but Loki manages to drag him away. Then the blue fucker calls Thor a princess. And Thor being Thor, doesn't handle it well. 

Loki turns blue for a moment during the fight, before his skin turns back to the usual pale  _ human  _ color. And Loki thinks he knows why his father doesn’t love him. 

Loki feels just about done with life after Odin brings them back to Asgard. Thor’s friends take the guy with the ridiculous mustache to the infirmary, and Thor gets ripped a new one, and then Thor calls Odin a fool. 

Loki realizes what his father is about to do before he does it, and the guilt and anger lash out. 

“Wait!” He suddenly screams out. Odin doesn’t silence him again, watching with curiosity, and anger still flushes his face. Thor begins apologizing, but Odin silences  _ him  _ this time. Thor stays quiet. 

“I’m the one who sneaked in the Frost Giants.” He finally admits, shame building up at the betrayed look Thor gives him. 

“Brother, why?” Thor asks. 

“I’m sorry, Thor. It was stupid. I just-” Loki turns to him, ignoring the urge to wring his hands nervously. _ I just think you shouldn’t be king, for now.  _

“Loki, I expected better of you.” Odin says, and then the anger returns ten fold. 

Loki freezes, words stuck in his throat before he clears it. He feels the anger like he’s always felt it. Burning at him so painfully, he wants to scream but can’t. Like he wants to cry, but can’t. And then he thinks about the cold big blue monstrous hand that had wrapped around his wrist, Loki’s own hand turning into the cold color, and he just needs to  _ know _ -

“What am I?” He finally asks. He can feel Thor stare at him with a confused expression. But he doesn’t have time for Thor right now. Not when Odin gives him a look, like he expected this but wasn’t happy about it. Still he plays dumb. 

“You’re my son.” Odin says, and Loki feels every emotion he’s held back swelling up inside him like an ocean wave. A son. His son. The son he claimed to love, and yet here they were. 

“What more than that?” Loki grits out. Thor shifts in his vision as he attempts to move toward him. 

“Loki, what-” 

“Thor.” Odin cuts him off, and Thor looks like a kicked puppy with that confused frown on his face, but he stops in his tracks. Loki wonders if it's because Odin is afraid he will hurt him. But why? How could he even hurt Thor, he’s twice his size, unless-

“The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?”

Odin doesn’t respond, and that is the answer itself, isn’t it? 

“Who did you take me from?” Loki asks. He wonders if he has a family. A family of Frost Giants. A family of monsters. Odin doesn’t answer for a beat, but then he does, and Loki wishes he hadn’t pulled that stupid prank. 

“In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring -- abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son.” 

Thor lets out a noise of surprise and anger, but is still too surprised to say anything. 

“Laufey’s son. Laufeyson.” Loki realizes. 

What a fucking original name, Odin. You really knocked it out of the park. 

He desperately struggles to make sense of it all, as he keeps on talking. 

“Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?” 

“You were an innocent child.” 

Bullshit.

“You took me for a purpose, what was it?” Loki feels his voice become more agitated, the lump in his throat making him even more upset. Odin doesn't answer.

“Tell him!” Thor suddenly bursts out, surprising them both with the anger in his voice. Odin relents. 

“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace... through you. But those plans no longer matter.” Odin is resorting to blaming Thor, which is a step he’d never taken before. Loki can’t bring himself to care at the moment. 

“So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me.” Why did it hurt so much to be betrayed by someone who’s done it time and time again already? It explained why he was especially trained in socialization though. 

“Why do you twist my words?” Odin protests, and Loki scoffs. 

**“** You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?”

“You are my son. My blood. I wanted only to protect you from the truth.” Odin says, like it should fix everything. Like not telling him something as basic as where he’s from was the right thing to do.

“Because I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?” Loki feels tears burn at his eyes, and he thinks Thor says his name. But he’s so focused on his anger he doesn’t really realize. 

“It all makes sense now. Why you favored Thor all these years.”

“Listen…”

“Because no matter how much you claim to  _ love  _ me, you could never have a  _ Frost Giant _ sitting on the Throne of Asgard!”

**“** Listen to me!” Odin doesn't beg, but the tone in his voice is as close to begging as it can get. But Loki is done listening. All this time, he’s been listening, and where has it got him? He’s an orphan, now. He’s always been. Left out to die, and for Odin to take. 

It explained everything. Why Thor was favored. Why his father was the way he was, why his mother was the way she was. Why Loki was the way he was. 

Loki shook his head, forcing his eyes shut so he wouldn’t cry. Wishing he was anywhere, anywhere but here. He wished to be far, far away. Maybe visit earth, one of his favorite planets that he’s always meant to visit. He was curious about something called coffee. 

Yes. He wished for coffee, to be with coffee on earth far away from here. 

A sudden blinding light shook him out of his sad state, only having the time to hear Thor and Odin shout his name with worry before everything went black. 


End file.
